My body has turned on me.
Current mood: sick

Andrea Meehl, my good friend from high school, traveled over 5 hours to say goodbye to me and spend one night. At first, it was a lovely night. We went out to dinner at YooGanae's (spicy chicken) and got some chai at Starbucks. We met up with my dear friends Adam and Bryan at Starface and conversed while they had a beer. I got a little sleepy at the bar (but felt fine, may I add) so we went back to the apartment before midnight for a good nights sleep. After all, I had to work the next day and I had an open class as well. At around 4am, I woke up suddenly. I thought I was having a panic attack; my mind was racing, as was my heart. My stomach was unsettled. I tried to do some deep breathing and relax. Then, my stomach turned and I realized...I'm not having a panic attack! I'm very, very sick and about to lose my dinner. I ran to the bathroom, nearly stepping on Andrea's head in the process and I got to spend our last night hanging out together in who knows how long making trips to the bathroom, regularly, until noon the next day. She got to spend that night listening to me, as my apartment is quite small. I called off my morning class, which was a good idea as my body was still ridding itself of every particle of food and stomach acids that it could during that time. I finally felt stable enough to get dressed and head to the doctor around noon, which meant that I had a mere hour before I needed to report to my afternoon classes. The patient and lovely Andrea basically carried me to the doctor and one of my coworkers came up to translate. The doctor said that there was a poison in my body and that I had to go to a proper hospital in Gwangan (where my hapkido gym is) for five days. I started to cry a bit and just said, "Tell him I can't do that." We went to another hospital for internal medicine where the doctor refuted the first doctor's diagnoses, but I'll never know what he actually said. The avuncular accountant, Mr Park, who speaks no English, was my guardian at that point. I was in and out of consciousness for four hours with an I.V. attached to the crease of my left arm, then my right hand when that got unbearable. I crawled home with medicine to be taken before and after meals (laughable...I feel as though I'll never eat again) and was greeted with a goodbye note from Andrea, who had to catch her train while I was in the hospital. Tears came to my eyes as I realized that I didn't know when we'd meet again and I'd wasted all our time together being sick. Just then, knowing there wasn't anything to be done about that, I wiped the tears away and proceeded to do my phone counseling, which was due today if I want to get paid before I leave Korea. They may not have been the most enthusiastic phone calls, but they are finished and it's one less thing on my plate. As I look around my apartment, I know that I should be spending this evening organizing, cleaning, and packing. Fat chance. I know I'll be sitting around, sleeping, and doing little else.

Oh, and did I mention I'm on my period as well?

My body has turned on me.

Penguins!

Current mood: awake

In an effort to conquer as many items still remaining on my list as possible, this afternoon found me at the Busan Aquarium. I convinced my coworker Jon to come with me after we finished at SLP. It wasn't extraordinary as far as Aquariums go, but it was a good way to spend an afternoon, and certainly somewhere I've been meaning to check out.

While we were perusing the displayed selections of aquatic life, we noticed that a turtle had turned on its side in a terarium. Poor little thing. Well, someone who speaks Korean will surely notice and get the little fellow some help. At that point, we moved on to my favorite-the penguin display! Adorable creatures. We also stopped to touch starfish and hold a spikey looking little creature who pooped in BOTH of our hands as we each held it. Delightful. We went through the rest of the aquarium, even stopping for a minute or ten to watch some underwater magic show in the coral reef. After a long visit with the sharks and sea turtles, we decided to head back up to the penguin display to say goodbye. As we turned the corner, we checked on our little friend, the turtle. He was still straining to right himself. He had cleared away all the woodchips under the two legs that could reach them, and he had begun to try using his neck for leverage. It had been at least a half an hour, maybe 45 minutes since we had left the little guy, so we went to find help from the lady who had put the pooping creatures in our hands. I had to do a little dramatic acting, using my hands as a turtle shell, but she finally figured out what I meant. She and two bystanders came back with me to the turtle terarium and laughed at the poor guy. Eventually, she found another employee to go into the back room and move the turtle so he could be upright.
After our great impact on the turtle's day, I parted ways with Jon and headed to what was most likely my last Hapkido class ever. It was a weapons night, my favorite. We worked with swords, doing hundreds of straight cuts in different stances. At the end of class, I had Master Yoon fold my uniform in the official way, but refused to admit that it was my last class. "Maybe I WILL have time to come on Monday..." Sure.

From there, I went to meet Nic and discuss details of selling my laptop to his friend. It turns out that Nic is leaving for his vacation tomorrow and -BOOM- it was my first real goodbye. I've just returned home and it's setting in that I have no idea if or when I'll see Nic again. Nic, who has been my surrogate brother all year long. Crazy. There's only much more of this unsettled feeling awaiting me in the next few days.

temple stay recap

Current mood: accomplished

i had an interesting and unique temple stay experience this weekend, only to be followed by disappointing messages, emails, and phone calls from people at home...regardless...

Buddhas in a cave.

it's hard to focus on the temple stay at the moment, but i'll try to write a summary. suffice it to say, i had a lot of time to think, and i chose that time to think about what inspires me and what brings me down. i learned a lot about a way of life i've never experienced or explored. i learned that i have a lot for which to be grateful.

This is where we slept.

The two people with whom i'd been planning to attend the temple stay ditched me at the last minute, but fortunately my friend sophie and her mom were headed that way. i tagged along with them. we checked in after a two hour train ride and 30 minutes in a taxi. we were shown to our room; blankets on a heated floor. we had dinner with the monks shortly after arriving and exploring the temple grounds. after, we went to the sunmudo training center to participate in the evening chanting ceremony and learn the basics of sunmudo, the monk's martial art. we also got to see some of what it actually looks like when you know what you're doing. lights out was at 10, a ludicrous hour for sleeping on a saturday night...but since we had to be up at 4 am for morning chanting and meditation, we tried our best to get some rest.

we were woken up at 4 am by a monk chanting and striking a wooden drum outside our door. it took a bit of effort to make it to the temple at the top of the hill for the 4:30 chanting and meditation ceremony, but we made it. if any person at the temple misses the morning chanting ceremony, the entire population of the temple has to fast on that day, and the missing person must perform 3,000 full bows. good thing we made it! an hour after we arrive in the temple, we left for a walking meditation, to the gate at the bottom of the hill and back up again. the brisk pace and cold morning shook any remaining sleepiness from my head. at 6:20 am, we gathered in the dining hall to learn how to participate in the sunday morning meal meditation. on sunday mornings, they perform a rather complicated eating ceremony to show their gratitude for the food they have and the people that prepare it. not a single grain of rice or speck of spice can be left on the bowls at the end of it.Generally after breakfast there would be another round of sunmudo training, but sundays are a day of rest, so they took us to see nearby buddhist sites instead. we saw ancient pagodas, ruins from a 6th century temple, another temple, and from the shore we saw the site of an underwater tomb of a silla king who vowed to return as a sea dragon and protect the dynasty.We ate lunch and then had a tea ceremony with the grand master monk of the temple. we got to ask him questions and learn a little bit about his visions for the future of sunmudo and his training gym in toronto. he also was amused that i am friends with Sarah, a regular temple-stayer.

just after noon we slowly made our return to reality. as we were getting closer to busan, the sun was setting over the ocean in a beautiful red and orange sunset. sophie's mom said that it looked like paradise. my paradise lies far from haeundae, korea...but it was pretty.

while i've only gotten a few hours of sleep in each of the previous two nights, my head is too full to sleep and suprisingly awake, although my body is exhausted. time to lay down and see what happens.

Why don't dogs in Korea need leashes?
Current mood: curious

I was walking home from Aubrey's apartment this evening, I saw a man walking his two small dogs. By now, I'm used to the sight of tiny dogs and expect that they will either be clad in sweaters or that portion of their fur will be died pink; perhaps a tail or the ears. I do not expect to see leases. In fact, I'm fairly certain that the only time I've ever seen a leash was on my friend Ryan's dog and he's a Kiwi.

Regardless, the dogs that I saw this evening were not wearing clothing, they were completely white, and they were conspicuously unleashed. One little pooch ran ahead across the intersection the moment the light turned green and the other dutifully followed the accompanying man as I jogged the half block to catch the light. We happened to be going the same way, so for the next block I watched as the puppies explored the edges of a construction zone and wavered dangerously close to the street. I observed one of the puppies stopped to explore a tree trunk while the other toyed with the idea of climbing down the stairs to the subway. The man continued to walk and the puppies didn't stray too far...but when they did, all it took was a few softly spoken Korean words to get the puppies back in line.

So why are puppies better behaved in Korea?

Hello, Goodbye
Current mood: sick

Last Friday night, we had a staff dinner for the four departing teachers and the five newest arrivals at SLP. The dinner followed by the departing teachers' last days were hard to swallow. I want to be the one who's leaving. Instead, I have three more weeks from today.

Thursday was everyone's last day. After the bittersweet day full of goodbyes, I had dinner with Juliet, one of the Korean English teachers. We ate shabu shabu and had an honest conversation about SLP and problems we're encountered and people who have helped us out. After, we headed to Starbucks and had a much more pleasant conversation about our favorite students and who I wish I could take back with me. I settled on a few favorite students; Robert, Annie, Angel, and Binny. Robert is one of the very few students that I have taught all year. He's 8 years old Korean age (6 or 7 western age) and just has a sense of humor that cracks me up every time. Annie is from my current kindergarten class that I've been teaching since March. She's always smiling, up for anything, and when she's upset, she bounces back quickly. I adore her. Angel and Binny are from the baby class, Korean age 5 (3 or 4 western age). I had been teaching them song and chant once a week for over 8 months when they were abruptly taken from me in my last month. Regardless, I love this class in its entirety, but Angel and Binny always stood out as adorable, energetic, positive kids that I loved to teach, or just run into in the halls. Of course, I can't take any of them with me and I'll likely be forgotten in a matter of time...

Juliet and I met up with a group of people gathering to say goodbye to Natalie and Steve. There, I was able to speak with Rachel, another Korean English teacher. Although we work at the same school, we don't share any classes and have rarely spoken. However, she had a unique perspective on the situation a month or so back when I was scapegoated for a class leaving SLP. She has a relationship with a few of the parents from when she taught those kids. The parents never intended to leave. They didn't dislike me and had nothing against me. I have been blamed for something that happened entirely because of miscommunications at SLP while we changed supervisors three times and the current supervisor's inadequacy and ineffectivness. While the conversation made me feel slightly better, it also angered me that I should have had to take the fall. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I have 15 teaching days left here, but it's just not that easy.

This weekend, I had intended to do a temple stay, but it was postponed until next weekend because my hapkido gym is getting new promotional photos taken. I definitely want to be a part of that, especially since Hapkido has been such a positive experience for me this year. It's a bit depressing to know that I've gotten so close to my black belt and I'll have to leave without it, but I'm still proud of leaving on a brown belt.

As for today, it's 3 p.m. and I'm still just wasting time, waiting for an inspiring idea for how to spend the day. I guess it's not happening and I should just make my way outside...but it's December! It may not be Wisconsin, but it's still cold and difficult to go outside with no real purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving

Current mood: full

I've returned from gorging myself on a real(ish) Thanksgiving Dinner at the Seamen's Club in Busan, South Korea. It was buffet style, and there was turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, salad with real dressing choices, yams, canned cranberries, corn bread, apple pie, and amazing pumpkin pie with cool whip.

I had some of everything. And then seconds.

It may have been the best meal I've had since moving to Korea. Certainly the biggest. This may not be exciting to those reading at home, but of the above listed foods, the only two I've eaten in the past 11 months have been mashed potatoes (at one of David and Bryan's Sunday dinners) and apple pie (made from scratch by Aubrey, Liz, Mel, and myself a few weeks ago). The sheer sight of all that delicious American food nearly made my eyes tear up.

So, as I'm still recovering from my meal, my American friends and family are either sleeping in on their day off from work or just waking to greet Thanksgiving day. Tonight, they will gather with their families and friends and eat homemade versions of the feast I just consumed. They'll watch football together and catch up. They'll make plans for Christmas. And I'll be here. I'll try to get some sleep tonight between the now constant pain in my throat and the wind rattling my windows. I'll wake and go to work tomorrow and do my best to forget that it's a holiday at home.

In your love, my salvation lies
Current mood: restless

My preferences go in phases. Currently, I've been nearly obsessively listening to a mix sent to me from The Dan One, a refreshing change of pace from the music I've had all year and the nauseating K-pop in my daily life. I also have gone from enjoying a night or two out on the weekends to actively avoiding any sort of social scene beyond a comfortable group of fourish.

In celebration for achieving the brown belt level in hapkido (that's just one step below black), I convinced Adam to go with me to the beach after our tests just for one drink and some conversation. Although we both expressed that we didn't want to go out that night, we both ended up in different bars after that initial drink. Of course, as is my current trend, I tired of the scene and abruptly went home without saying goodbye.

The next morning, Adam and Aubrey and I embarked on a great adventure. To be honest, I had trepidations with that particular mix of companions, but the day was a brilliant collage of varied experiences. We met in the morning with plenty of time to get to the ferry station without having to rush. We decided to take a bus instead of the subway or a taxi. I always shy away from buses and forget why I dislike them so much. I remembered well on Saturday morning, as I hung my head out the window of the moving bus and lost my $6 Starbucks breakfast along the side of the bus. Motion sickness, limited mainly to buses in Korea. Each time I have taken a bus in Korea, each time, I've felt like puking. It's just that I never had before. That was new. As was our first visit to Geojedo, a small island just a one hour ferry ride from Busan. We had planned to do some hiking and exploring, then stay overnight in a bathhouse and leave after a leisurely breakfast in the morning. In our excitement for the adventure, however, none of us bothered to look at a weather report. It was a dreary day, mist and gentle rain filling the sky. It was just a bit too wet to hike and the town was just too small to spend a lot of time exploring. Instead, we set up camp at a local traditional Korean restaurant. It was a tofu restaurant, the type where you sit on a flat pillow at a low table and try to keep your legs from falling completely asleep. It may have, however, been the best sundubu chiggae-tofu soup-I've ever tasted (I'm not joking! The tofu was amazingly fresh and the soup contained the perfect level of red pepper spice), but what really made the experience unique was the fact that we were at the restaurant for nearly two hours without realizing how fast the time was flying by. For all our differences, the three of us were able to seamlessly drift from topic to topic in our conversations and never tire of each other's opinions. For the entire day. Although the experience was nothing like I had imagined in my head, I wouldn't trade that day for anything, and I'm so glad that we went.The rest of my weekend has been enjoyable and relaxing, but far less eventful as I spent much of the time eating and watching Six Feet Under in Sophie's apartment, just 14 floors beneath mine. I just returned from what is most likely to be my last women's meeting and I'm waiting for my parents to call to relay the story I've just written. I have an open class tomorrow at work and just four more weekends in this country. And echoing in my head are words and phrases from the song Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch: Here is what I know now, here is what I know, in your love, my salvation lies...but you know I am so weary...sometimes my mind is too strong to carry on...when I'm alone, when I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone...that's when I miss you, you who are my own...in your love, my salvation lies...

My mind can't seem to focus on just one thought any more, so I'll end here.

weekends winding down
Current mood: apathetic

I realize now that I didn't mention I went on my last Hapkido picnic last weekend. We went to Miryang and stayed at the best pension yet. It was a two story house, as usual void of furniture save a few kitchen appliances, a low table, and a tv. Stacks of pillows and blankets waited in each room to be used as beds. The guys all brought BB guns and staged an all-out war in the countryside. The ladies got into the wine instead. In the evening, we had a barbeque and then made make-shift s'mores over a real campfire! The campfire was a novelty, as were the s'mores alternatives (little, colored marshmallows and chocolate diget biscuits). The next morning, a few of us took a walk and met some goats, then a family with many, many small dogs. We were worried that they were being raised for meat, but Master Yoon spoke with the family and they said that they had so many dogs because there weren't a lot of people in the country and the dogs were like children to them. It began to rain as we drove the narrow dirt road back down the mountains. My last hapkido picnic was officially over.

This weekend has been far less eventful. It began with almost an hour of sitting in the Director of SLP's office as he tried to convince me that SLP really isn't such a bad place to work. Apparently my recruiter, Footprints (don't use them!), didn't understand when I asked them NOT to use my name until I was finished with my contract. Nothing good came of the conversation, really. I wasn't convinced, but at least I wasn't fired. Even though it was his birthday, Paddy waited for me to finish my meeting with Mr. Lee and then a large group of us went to eat ribs (in Korea, you eat ribs right off a grill on the middle of your table. You wear a thermal glove covered by a flimsy, disposable plasic glove on one hand). After, we went to Starface and then I shared a cab home with a few other people who live in my building. The rest of the crew headed to U2 bar. My phone rang a few times as I drifted to sleep. Party goers who wondered why I never seem to stay out late anymore. I guess I'm just over it. I didn't feel like going out last night, either. As everyone got ready to go, I called Aubrey and asked if maybe she wanted to stay in and watch a movie. She had the same inclination, so we did. Before the night in, I had gone to Somyeon with Bryan, in seach of some new specs. He was able to get the exact same frame that he had just broken, and I left with some flashy new purple plastic frames. I'm happy to have frames that I'll like to wear. I also booked a flight to NYC to see my sister and perhaps Robin and spend some time in the big city with Jamie, who will be staying in New York that weekend for a conference. It made me more excited to head home, if that's possible.

When today is over, I'll have a mere 5 weekends left in Korea.

Sick Day .2
Current mood: relieved

Nothing's worse than getting up and going to work on a blustery Monday morning. Nothing, except calling in sick. I was trying to reach someone for 30 minutes before I finally got ahold of one of the desk teachers. Within minutes, I was called back by the "supervisor," Cathreen (not Cathleen, not Cathrine, CATHREEN) insisting that I find my own replacement. When I informed her that it was not my duty to do so, she insisted that I must be in to work in the afternoon, with a doctors note to clear my morning absence. It's amazing how much guilt was poured onto me for taking a sick day. Even though I spent the first part stressed and frustrated, I took my entire sick day, and it was only one of 4 to which I am entitled and only the second I've taken. As I type this, my coworkers are still teaching and I've just now taken a shower today.

I ventured to the doctor mid-morning. I had to meet a friend since SLP always takes me to a Pediatrician and I didn't want any of that nonsense. I went to a proper doctor who spoke English well enough to tell me that I either needed an injection in the bum and some pills, or I needed to stay for a one to two hour treatment for a rehydration treatment. I opted for the shot in the bum. It was odd. A nurse took me into a little side room, had me expose a cheek, and then spanked a few times and before I knew it, it was all over. I guess Koreans get shots for virtually every ailment, but even with all my sicknesses since I've been here, this was my first experience.

I went to the Oriental Medicine Clinic later in the day for some acupuncture and have watched 3 episodes of Sophie's Six Feet Under disks. I've saved some stuff onto my new external hard drive, cleaned my bathroom, and taken a significant nap. I actually do feel better, which is surprising. Maybe it's just that I feel rested and now that the day's nearly done, I don't have to worry so much about the guilt-ridden phone calls from work and whatnot. Either way, I still dread returning to work and I wish it would be acceptable to take all of my remaining sick days at once. Maybe then, when I returned, the wicked witch of SLP would be banished forever...one can only hope...

It's Finally Fall
Current mood: complacent

After a soft rain last weekend, Busan finally turned cool. Well, it's still unseasonably warm in my book, but it is noticeably cooler, especially at night. Aubrey, Liz, Mel, and I decided to have a fall-themed night earlier this week. We baked an apple pie from scratch, then made a pumpkin pinata while we were waiting for the pie to bake and then cool. Since I don't have an oven, it was the first time I had baked since I first arrived here 10 months ago.

Friday night, I put a pillow under my shirt and played the role of Jane, the pregnant reporter in the movie "The Life Aquatic" to accompany my friend Adam's Steve Zissou. The party was a good time and included an variety of costumes, my favorites being an enthusiastic pirate drinking rum from the bottle, Chuck Norris, Juicy Couture, a soju bottle, a caveman, and Wolverine from X-men.

On Saturday, I met with Aubrey, Liz, Pierre, Richard...and five others. We drove to Yangsan to see a temple and have a picnic on the rocky bank of a stream. Despite the heat of the day, the fall colors once again reminded me that I am indeed in the midst of fall. It was a relaxing day, away from the noise and crowds and pushing and spitting of the city. We ended the day by getting a bottle of red wine at a cafe on Dalmaji Hill as the sun set over Haeundae Beach and Gwangalli Bridge. Perfect.

Today, I've only left the compartment once. I've run out of medication from my Western doctor and while I still go to the Oriental Medicine Center for acupuncture treatments, I was never able to stomach the herbal medicine. My voice has taken a sharp turn for the worse. I only have 8 weeks left as a teacher and I know I can make it, but I can't describe how much I hate not being able to sing to myself as I clean my apartment, how much I hate knowing that it's the more responsible decision to keep to myself as much as possible and not use my voice.

So much to say...

Current mood: curious

In October each year, the city I currently call home becomes host to the Pusan International Film Festival (PIFF). The city transformed in a way...Posters decorated the streets and local theater box offices were entirely taken over. Over the course of a week I was able to take in 5 movies of varying quality, but unlike any other film projected in Korea. As an Indie fan, I've been starving for more creative films, but have subsisted on a strict diet of mainstream blockbusters as the only English options. The PIFF films came with English subtitles standard and had projector screens for the Korean subtitles. I was able to see works from Romania, Lithuania/Germany, Italy/France, Indonesia, and Iran. Each was entirely unique and well worth the effort of getting the highly sought after tickets. This evening, Aubrey and I explored the realm of PIFF archives, available for viewing on PCs at the Cinemateque. We watched a Korean film circa 2000 reminiscent of the movie Sliding Doors. Now that I've discovered this new means of viewing interesting film, I imagine I'll be back on a regular basis. Besides, the weather has finally begun to turn to fall and I'm in need of a few more indoor activities.

This weekend marked 10 months in Korea for me and I celebrated by visiting my good friend, Andrea Meehl in Seoul. One of the best parts of the celebratory weekend; seeking and locating Korea's one and only Cold Stone Creamery. How I've missed the sweet, sweet taste of Cake Batter Ice Cream! After a day in Seoul, we took the commuter train to Paju, about an hour north of Seoul, where she works in a fabricated English village. I loved meeting her friends and seeing where she worked and getting to spend time with someone who actually knows me. I can't believe that she's been here for three months and this is the first time we managed to get together. I brought her back with me to Busan for a few days, where she shopped and walked along the beach and sadly, I worked. It was hard to see her leave today, but the visit actually had an affect on me that I wasn't expecting. It made me excited to go home. The familiarity, the easiness of the whole experience...I miss spending time with people who know my ins and outs. People to whom I don't ever have to explain myself. There are precious few of those people here, and while I cherish them, I am excited to once again be surrounded by friends and family whom I've known for decades, not months. I'm curious about how the transition home will play out.

A New Design of East and West
Current mood: pensive

When I first arrived in Korea, quite by accident I discovered a clothing brand called ANDEW (A New Design of East a West). My current favorite pair of jeans is by ANDEW. Today, I decided to create my own blend of East and West: Eastern and Western medicine.

I've tried acupuncture before with mixed results from a few different doctors, but haven't gone in months. Apart from that, I haven't given Oriental Medicine a fair shot, having grown up in a culture that doesn't believe in that stuff as a general rule. In light of my recent medical affliction, I decided to give it another go. Besides, I'm paying for the health insurance either way...and when will I ever be in a position again where holistic medicine is covered?

I discovered an Oriental Medicine Clinic in my area through a friend's recommendation. The doctor's English was excellent and she explained how all of the annoyances that I've been struggling with are distress signals from my body. She said that teaching English in Korea must be hard, because each time she sees an English Teacher, their bodies are showing major symptoms of distress. She said that the smaller problems that I thought were unrelated, but wrote on the survey anyway, are symptoms of my body's imbalance. The best part is that she believes that she can treat it all and my insurance covers every penny. At this point, I'm ready to try just about anything.

She sent me away after an hour session with an herbal medication, to be mixed with hot water and drunk after meals. I tried it after dinner today. Ew. Remember that story I told about receiving a fish's gallbladder bile as a special present at my student's parent's restaurant? This tasted eerily like that. I couldn't finish it, but I'll try it again tomorrow before I go back to the clinic for appointment number two.

Today's Blend of East and West:
1. Four unidentified prescription anti-inflammatory drugs, three times a day from the ENT (12 pills).
2. DayQuil!! Whoooo!! I had forgotten how much that stuff rocks.
3. One half of an herbal treatment, meant to be taken three times a day.
4. Acupuncture needles not IN but FOR my throat area
5. Electric currents for my large intestine

Do I feel any better?

Hmmmmm. No, not yet. But maybe I'll sleep better tonight.

Scary Stuff
Current mood: sore

No, I'm not talking about North Korea's recent nuke testing. That's actually not that scary for me. Maybe because I grew up in a country that tests nukes on a regular basis? Maybe because I'm leaving Korea soon? I don't know, but that's not what's weighing on my mind at the moment.

I just found out I have a vocal node. Just one, on the right side, but it explains a lot. It also scares me a lot, I actually started crying when the ENT doctor told me. I also didn't like how he referred to it as my "disease."

Vocal nodes were always this scary thing that, as a singer, I was always told that you get if you *don't* know how to use your voice properly. Hence the voice lessons of my youth. It wouldn't be a bit deal if my occupation didn't require that I continuously talk in 80-minute increments throughout the day, every day, even on Saturday this week. The only way to get better is to stop using my voice entirely for a few weeks. There's no possible way for me to do that, at least for the majority of each day. If it gets worse, I'll develop another node on the left side and the right one could get worse. What to do, what to do.

Shanghai: Starbucks and Wedding Dresses

Current mood: tired

I've only been back in Korea for a few hours...I've just been on the last plane I'll board before heading back to the States! I am surrounded by presents for friends, family...and myself and I'm wondering how I'll ever get everything I've acquired back home at Christmastime.
Shanghai is a surprisingly colorful and interesting city. It was full of Starbucks, wedding dresses, old architecture, new architecture, museums, live jazz music, silk, jade, gelato, real chocolate, and great food. Apart from the occasional Starbucks, it's entirely different from the drab and uniform Busan. The French Concession area of the city had a distinctly high brow European feel to it. The Bund area was a mess of tourists and pickpockets, but a great view across the river of the new part of the city. Old Town was a taste of "real" China; the poverty and traditions. There was also a crazy huge haggling/shopping area at the end of Old Town with an old-world flavor.Aubrey, Liz, and I stayed at a historic hotel called the Astor House at the recommendation of a coworker. It was the first Western-style hotel in China (built in 1846), as well as the place of China's first telephone call. Albert Einstein, Charlie Chaplan, and former President Grant were among the recognizable names in their guest list. We were given a huge room and the high ceilings and hard wood floors were enough for me to fall in love with it, even if we had a long, elevator-less walk back to our room each evening. They also were thoughtful enough to print cards with the address in Chinese and English so we could catch a cab back from any area of the city without having to worry about figuring out where we were relative to the hotel and how to tell the cab drivers, who only spoke Chinese.

We spent the majority of the trip walking, sightseeing, and shopping during the day. We saw the majority of the city on foot, and being as it's the largest city in all of China, that's quite a feat. We also got massages at a place that still mainly employs blind people (in China, massage is traditionally an occupation for the blind) and spent a day at the Shanghai Museum, listed in the book 1000 Places to See Before You Die.At night, we varied our activities slightly, taking in Shanghainese, Schezuan, Cantonese, Thai, and Indian foods...with perhaps a nice wine or gelato on the Bund. On Friday night, we met some Dutch travelers in the elevator to a rooftop bar overlooking downtown and spent all evening talking to them. We found a great little Jazz venue called the Cotton Club on Thursday night and liked it so much that we returned on Saturday night. Finding live music, particularly good live music (and in English!) is an improbability in Korea, and the guitarist in the house band ranks among the top 5 that I've ever seen.
I ran into Bryan and Corrine as I had just gotten out of the cab from the airport. I asked them, "Where are you coming from?" They said, "Work. Where are you coming from?" One word, "China," was my simple response. Bryan looked at me and said, "I don't think you could have said anything cooler."

Indeed.

Shanghai, China: here I come!
Current mood: optimistic

I picked up my passport and paid for my tickets today! I'm leaving on a jet plane one week from tomorrow, and words can't explain how much I need this break. No matter how bad any particular day or week or month can be here, nothing beats how easy it is to travel. This will be my last trip before the big trip home, just under three months from now...and also, I'm one page closer to filling my passport.

What a Weekend...

Current mood: restless

This weekend was a much too short reprive from a very long and difficult week. By the end of the work day on Friday, I didn't think I had any energy left to do anything but crawl into bed. However, I forced myself onto the subway to make the 8:00 hapkido class which I disrespectfully yawned through. When I got back home, I got calls/texts from Bryan and Dave, heading to see the much-hyped Thai DJ Nakadia who was appearing in Busan for just one night. She didn't start until 1:00 a.m.,so we didn't get into a cab until midnight. Master Yoon actually made an appearance, despite his refusal to dance...and it was a great night.

Saturday was the great SLP speech contest, which has been in the works for months. I had a total of 6 students from all of my classes combined, but I am told from the teachers who were present to judge (unpaid on a Saturday) that none of my students are advancing to Seoul. I'm not too upset, though. I didn't even make an appearance at the contest, I couldn't bring myself to have anything to do with work. Instead, I met Natalie as planned and we headed to the UN Cemetary to spend a beautiful, sunny day taking photographs and visiting a new place. It was a perfect day to spend outside. That night, I was back at Dave and Bryan's place for a small farewell party for Kate, the desk teacher who will be missed more than the previous two Supervisors...her last day is on Wednesday. The party moved to a different club, but I went home instead and finally got some rest.
Today was another unseasonably beautiful day, which is great because I had plans to spend the afternoon with my coworker, Stephen, exploring an area outside of town on his motorcycle. I was running some errands before, and on a whim decided to stop into Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I'm glad I did, because I ran into Aubrey and Liz (the ladies with whom I'm headed to Shanghai) and another friend, Ang. I enjoyed their company for an hour or two, then met up with Stephen. I've gone on a few adventures with Stephen on his bike, but today was different. Apart from the fact that it may have been our last adventure, it was something totally different, something I would not have been able to do on my own. On a previous exploration of the area, Stephen had stumbled across a hidden temple, on a river just beyond Busan's borders. We drove through a small farming community, spent some time taking photos and exploring the temple, then stopped at an overlook on Dalmaji Hill Road on the way back for a truly spectacular view.
I got home just in time to grab some dried fruit and head to my bi-weekly women's meeting which was thought provoking and stimulating as usual. Now, it's midnight and I should be drifting off to sleep, but my mind is awake and my entire being cannot forget that when I wake, the weekend will be over and I have to endure 5 more days of SLP before I get another welcome reprive. I hope this feeling recedes soon...I can't imagine feeling this mixture of dread and annoyance for three more months.

Typhoon Shanshan

On Saturday morning, as I was getting ready to leave for an overnight picnic with my hapkido gym, I was watching the course of Typhoon Shanshan on CNN. It seems that a typhoon that was threatening Taiwan decided to change course, making nearly a U-turn to attack Japan. On Saturday morning, the typhoon was still hanging around Taiwan gathering strength; the change of course lead the meteorologists to predict that the typhoon was going to either hit Japan, squeeze directly between South Korea and Japan but stay over water, or hit Busan directly on Sunday night. Encouraging news for someone who's leaving the city, but not so encouraging when the drive back is on Sunday afternoon.

I haven't left the building since I returned home. I ran into a few coworkers by the elevator as I was running down to the convenience store for a snack. They had just returned from shopping and were also about to hole up for the night.

I live in a the tallest building in the area, on the 20th floor. From my vantage point, I can see all sorts of antennae, signs, and banners waving frantically in the strong winds. My building is designed to withstand earthquakes and typhoons; it's built in a square shape, with a courtyard starting on the 5th floor--nothing above it. I've heard stories about typhoons; people who lived on the hill where my old building is situated told me about the sounds that the buildings made when they swayed. Given my current living situation, which is inland from the hill and more structurally sound, I didn't expect anything out of the ordinary. I settled in for the night with cookies, my laptop, and the first X-Men movie on TV.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed when I first noticed the swaying--was it me or the entire building? I wasn't sure, so I stood to see if it would be easier to distinguish. It felt like the building! I went into the bathroom and sure enough, the water in the toilet was moving back and forth. From the hallway outside the bathroom, I could hear the wind ripping through the courtyard. I checked the internet for the newest storm trajectory, sort of hoping for a path that might lead to a day off, a "typhoon day," tomorrow, but of course without a direct, damaging path. The sites I located showed Typhoon Shanshan slamming into Japan, although it had weakened since yesterday. The worst of it will be tonight and by my breaktime, it will be past Korea entirely.

All About Image

Current mood: lazy

Two weeks ago, at the last women's meeting, we discussed the prevalence of mirrors and reflective surfaces in Korea and how we are all prone to picking away at our appearances and judging ourselves constantly. I didn't have this habit at home, but I do have to admit that it's hard to walk past so many mirrors each day and NOT check to see if my tummy sticks out or if my hair is all over the place. We decided to challenge ourselves to have a mirror-free day. We could look in the mirror only in the morning, to get ready for work. After that, avoiding all reflective surfaces for the day! I was doing great that day, averting my eyes from the barrage of mirrors I always encounter. It's funny, though...the one time I cracked wasn't to check out my hair, clothes, or makeup...I caught myself making faces at my reflection in the elevator! Like most elevators in this country, every inch of my apartment building's elevators is reflective with the exception of the ceiling and the floor. As I'm encased by mirrors each time I travel to or from my apartment, I've taken to making silly faces at myself whenever I find myself alone on the 20 floor commute. It's become such a frequent activity that it took me a few floors to realize I was doing it on my mirror-less day.

So anyways, last night I was planning to meet up with some friends and watch a movie, but it never happened. I met Aubrey and her friends at a wine bar on the trendy Dalmaji Hill and then accompanied them to one of their homes, where I stayed with them, drinking red wine, until 3:00 a.m. The most bizarre part of the evening...two of them, Richard and Pierre, had just bought these new papparazzi-type digital cameras and were taking photos at the table ALL NIGHT! It was weird. I've mentioned that sometimes Korean people can make me feel like a celebrity? Well, usually I mean that in a relatively positive way. Having a camera in my face the entire time at the wine bar (well, not the entire time, but a lot) was not nearly as fun...

A Long Weekend
Current mood: drained

After work ended on Friday, I brought my friend Holly to the hair salon that I frequent to be sure that she got the same stylist. While we were there, the power cut out, which was entertaining. Chemical perms under dryers, people with curling irons in their hair, small dogs, and it was the quietest dark room ever. Everyone fell completely silent. When the lights came up again, just minutes later, I left. I met Aubrey and Liz for coffee at my favorite coffee shop, Adagio, and we decided that we are FOR SURE headed to Shanghai, China for our very short Chusok break next month. It'll be my last vacation from here, my last time on a plane before the one that takes me home. Strange to think about.

Saturday was one of those days that reminded me that I really love living in Korea. I went to Songjeong Beach with some friends, swam in the ocean, laid on the beach, listened to music, sang along with my friend as she played the guitar...then we packed up and headed to a fantastic Thai restaurant. After, it was finally time to face up to the real challenge for the day...saying goodbye to Robin.

Robin was my first friend in Korea, and one of my roommates for 6 months. I met up with her at Starface, then after hours of goodbyes, Amy, Robin, and I went back to her apartment, where I used to live, and talked, just chatted, for a few hours, until 4:00, when she had to catch a cab to the airport. I can't describe what I was thinking or feeling as we hugged goodbye, but I know that after 8 months with rarely a day that didn't include Robin, I will feel the lack of her presence in my last four months. I felt it today.

I spent my day today well, I think. I took a sleeping pill around 4:45 in the morning, so I didn't wake up until after noon. I met Amy for coffee, then ran into Bryan from work, who was heading home to make chili. I offered him the use of some of my chili powder from the states since he couldn't find any and said he had to improvise. I shudder to think of what he would have made without it. Anyways, I went back to Amy and we went to hike on Jangsan Mountain. After, I came home, took a shower, then picked up some ice cream and headed to Bryan's for some of the thickest chili I've ever consumed. I wonder if my stomach will be able to handle the meat, then ice cream.

This week, I am testing for my red belt in hapkido. I also registered for another 5k, to take place just before my October vacation to China.

That's about all that's new in my ever-changing world.

8 down, 4 to go

If all goes as planned, I will be flying home 4 months from today. 4 Months from the day Jamie left.

I woke early and took the cab with Jamie to the Marriott Hotel, where he got his shuttle to the airport this morning. A tearful goodbye, a leisurely walk, a bagel and coffee at Dunkin Donuts, and then a full day of work and my first Hapkido class in weeks. This was my day today, but the story begins slightly over two weeks ago, the day after I finally arrived back from Thailand.

I had been back in Korea for about 36 hours when I found myself back at the airport. This time, to pick up Jamie for his second and final visit. Since he'd been here before, we had to be more creative in filling his days. His visit spanned two weekends, so we were able to use one for a quick trip to Seoul for the DMZ tour. I never really thought about paying to tour a war zone before moving to Korea, but it was a unique experience that, despite the sad absence of photos (I forgot my camera!), I will never forget. During the week, Jamie ran in the mornings and met me for lunch. Sometimes we ran into random people that took Jamie along with then as I went back to work, sometimes he had to fend for himself, exploring places he had not ventured to in May. Having him here was a great excuse to avoid cooking in my tiny studio. We ate my favorite Korean, Chinese, and Japanese dishes during his stay, and hit up the Mexican restaurant in Seoul, of course!

We had planned to kick off the final weekend by going to see some baseball. The Lotte Giants were in town, but so was the edge of a typhoon...so the game was rained out. We went rafting with some of my favorite members of the the Hapkido gym, stayed at a Korean-style hotel with barely any furniture...just mats and pillows and lots of floor space. We played paintball the next day. It was probably my first and last attempt at the sport; I'm not such a good shot and I prefer not to play with guns.

The beginning of this week went too fast. Jamie spent the morning of his last full day in Korea with my kindergarten class. He graciously taught the little kiddies to sing the Spiderman song. Last night, we got some spicy chicken (dakgalbi, my favorite!), then took the cribbage board to the best local coffee shop, Adagio. When I told the owner he was leaving, she was sad to see him go and gave us each free kiwi smoothies when we finished our coffee.

So that brings you up to speed. I'm just keeping myself occupied until I'm ready to fall asleep. I'm alone again. For four more months.