Ring Slings and Other Things

I had actual nightmares about traveling to Chicago to meet up with the entire McKee family. A trip with an infant is truly panic-inducing. In the end, it was an amazing trip filled with great memories. What made the difference, in my opinion, is the fact that I am a babywearer.

I didn't know anything about babywearing prior to having Ivy. A friend gave me a Moby wrap to borrow before Ivy was born, and after a few weeks, I decided to give it a try. It was love for Ivy and myself. She was calm and alert until she fell asleep (every time she was in the wrap!). We began regular walks in the Moby...until it got too darn hot to be wrapped in all the black fabric.

Like I said, I was new to babywearing and had NO IDEA about all the options out there. I just knew we both loved it and I needed something cooler. I landed on a ring sling. It sounded easy, I could find multiple videos on YouTube to learn to use it, and best of all it was one pass of fabric instead of three, and I could get a linen blend which would be cooler in the summer.

Again, it was love. The best part about wearing her is her proximity. Best practice for babywearing is "close enough to kiss," which means that she's close for interacting. I get to talk to her and watch her face as she takes in the world. I love it.

Today, I got a new one in the mail. I splurge because of the amount of time we're spending wrapped together and the number of pictures I've seen of us in the other sling. Her room is decorated in giraffes, so I found a lovely woven wrap with a giraffe pattern for conversion. I love it. Not just the giraffe butt she gets, but the ease of the nicer fabric and the comfort of the gathered shoulder. I can see this getting a lot of use.

My Love

My darling daughter is just about three months old, and now that the scary weight loss is behind us, life has settled down to a beautiful chaos.

I'm getting adept at babywearing with a Moby wrap and a ring sling...

She is smiley, active, and a lot of fun!

The First Weeks

My baby was born small and then lost a full pound of her birth weight. I don't think I've ever felt as scared and helpless and useless as I felt those weeks. Sleep deprived, deflated, and utterly lost as I loaded her into her car seat nearly every day and trucked to the doctor's office. We syringe fed her every two hours around the clock. I used a manual pump multiple times a day to extract enough breastmilk so that at least she was getting the best nutrition available. My thumb and wrist still hurt, a month later. I don't know what I would have done had my mother not decided to essentially move in and help.

I remember the first day I was home alone with Ivy, the day after being discharged from the hospital. I was sore and tired, but just full of hope and joy and love. I was texting pictures all day and enjoying the quiet snuggle time between feedings. But something wasn't right; she wasn't feeding well and wasn't happy when she was awake. I was worried about her before I even took her to her first doctor appointment.

The official diagnosis was something along the lines of breastfeeding failure. I don't think I've ever felt like such a loser. I remember crying when a story came on TV about a gorilla in a zoo who had been separated from her baby for two days, but then immediately nursed her when they were reunited. It is supposed to be instinctual and natural...but it's hard! Nobody tells you how hard it is.

I remember crying a lot in those weeks, doing everything I could and talking to anyone who would listen. I had a Le Leche League lady come to the house, I went to a lactation consultant, I was at the doctor every day, I found a breastfeeding clinic, I went to a Le Leche League meeting, I read several books and articles, I called the breastfeeding help line at the hospital where I gave birth, I had online dialogue with two different mommy groups on Facebook, I reached out to friends who were moms, and I relied heavily on my own mother for support as well.

The truth is, everyone offered different advice and I ended up more befuddled than I was at the beginning. Information overload! I dreaded the doctor appointments and broke down multiple times a day. I would spend time with a damn pump that was killing my wrist and my spirit while I watched my mother or husband drip milk from a syringe into my tiny baby's mouth. I doubted that I would ever breastfeed my baby.

She was three and a half weeks old when she regained her birth weight. It was a glorious feeling to see the numbers on the scale. Mom & I went for ice cream to celebrate. I'm happy to report that at 7 weeks she's about to be ready to graduate from newborn clothes. I think it's funny that some moms never get to use newborn clothes, or lament that their babies only wore certain outfits once...Ivy has worn out her handful of newborn clothes and I'm more than ready to get her into the rest of her wardrobe.

She's not good at breastfeeding and we have to use silicone nipple shields to keep her latched long enough to get a full meal, but we're working on it. I'm hopeful that someday soon I will be able to nurse her at night (and during the day, but the night feedings are the worst!) without having to find that stupid piece of plastic. She is gaining and growing and healthy...and as much as I'd love to have had a smoother start to motherhood, I'm glad that the first truly scary episode is behind us.

This week, I realized that I've rediscovered the feeling I had on that first day I had Ivy alone. I am overjoyed to be her mommy and love watching her discover the world. We aren't perfect, but we're improving. And that's life, right?

Little Miss Ivy's Arrival

Just 8 weeks before my due date, my hubby started a new job. Part of the 7 week training period included time in Chicago...up to 11 days before my due date. It made me nervous, but the new job was an opportunity he had been waiting for and I had no choice but to be supportive.

My parents were supportive, too. They decided that for the three weeks that Chris would be in Chicago, they would come stay with me. They would do the shoveling, walk the dog, and do other things that had become challenging at the end of my 3rd trimester. I continued to work full time, but would often come home to a healthy, home cooked meal and a relaxed dog who had been on far too many walks. My parents also helped me with projects around the house, like assembling baby swings and putting up shelves. It was so wonderful to have them here.

On the final week of their visit, my mom and I worked to finish Ivy's nursery. I started to get false labor pains on Tuesday night and barely slept, but they stopped on their own. Again, contractions on Thursday evening started to make me nervous. They were stronger than Tuesday, and didn't stop overnight. I called the nurse triage line to discuss what I should do, and the nurse decided that it made sense for me to go about my day unless my contractions got stronger and closer together. I downloaded a contraction timer app on my phone and got ready for work.

I worked all day on Friday, timing contractions during classes and trying my best to relax in between. I got materials ready for my sub to start a full week early, just in case. I texted Chris to let him know that we might be going to the hospital when he arrived home that afternoon. My parents decided to stick around.

Chris and I both had doctor appointments at 3:15...his for a lingering snowboarding injury, mine for my weekly prenatal appointment. When I arrived, I showed my contraction log to my doctor and she checked my cervix...I was dilated and indeed had been in labor all day! Chris had to get fluid drained from his knee without any sort of anesthesia due to the circumstances, and we were on our way!

I spent a long time in triage, getting more and more uncomfortable as contractions got stronger and closer together. When a room opened up in labor & delivery, I was given a beautiful dose of some kind of morphine and put into a nice hot bath. Those blissful hours were my favorite part of the whole experience. I could breathe through the contractions and was as relaxed as I would be for hours to come.

Transition was awful and painful beyond what I could have imagined. While I wasn't dead set against an epidural, I had hoped to avoid it. After I was hooked up to the epidural on my request, I was able to take a short nap. When I woke up around 7 am, it was time to push. I felt intense pressure on my tailbone, but started the pushing without pain. That changed, as I worked as hard as I could to push her out for nearly three hours! I don't have vivid memories from this time, other than the fact that I tried to bite Chris's hand, I was upset that the hospital doctor (not mine) was sitting on the couch on his phone, totally disengaged, and that my doctor, the labor & delivery nurse, and Chris were all amazing and encouraging even when I thought I couldn't keep going.

I found out later that some of the issue was that my water had not broken and the sack was in the way and quite strong. Once they broke my water, it was still in the way and wrapped over her head. She was born with much of the sack around her. She also had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck...but she had a freakishly long umbilical cord and it was no problem to free her from it.

When I felt Ivy's arrival, she was placed directly on my chest for a short moment before they took her back to clean her and check her APGAR. It was an experience unlike any other in my life. I was in pain, exhausted, emotional, and suddenly in love with the tiniest human being I've ever held.

She was only 6 lbs 4 oz.

It's Almost Baby Time!

On Tuesday, I'll be considered at term (37 weeks)! I'm celebrating by attending the Wisconsin School Counselor Association conference...which should be interesting to say the least.

Here's where we're at:

Fetal Movement: strong! She moves a lot. It's reassuring, but not always comfortable. Especially in the middle of the night!!
Wedding Rings: I can and still do wear my wedding band, but my engagement ring is just a touch too small to be comfortable (they couldn't size my wedding band exactly right because the stones go all the way around. It bothered me before, but it's kind of nice now). So I'm down to just the one.
Birth Plan: written and unchanged, even after the hospital tour. I'm hoping I will be able to attempt a water birth...we'll see how it all shakes out!
Baby Shower: done, and it was adorable. The theme my mom & her sisters chose was 'baby it's cold outside,' and included an amazing vintage-y hot chocolate bar and a baby gift tree. I was so overwhelmed by all the adorable details and all the super generous gifts.
Nursery: almost done! I ordered more crib sheets this weekend & packed up a box of gifts that we just won't need for a few months. My dad assembled the swing and stroller last week. I cleaned out the hall closet so there's a place to keep the stroller when we're ready to start walking.
Hospital bag: I'm packed! So is the baby bag. We just need to toss in a few items for daddy.
Car Seat: I have it and will get it installed this week! Daddy vacuumed the back seat of my car today for me...it made a dent in the dog hair situation at least! We also have a convertible car seat that we'll put in the Jeep.
Yoga: I went a week ago but the class, which is not the one I normally attend, was geared towards women who were not as far along. It wasn't a great experience. I'll try again this Wednesday, my normal prenatal class.
Cravings: I have been super uninteresting with cravings. I do like my ice cream. Oh, and peanut butter last week! I had peanuts at work, but it didn't do it for me. I needed peanut butter!
Aches & Pains: I just feel huge. Nothing specific, just uncomfortable. Putting on shoes & socks is rough. I also have been battling a very bad cold and maybe even a sinus infection for the past few weeks, but I'm finally starting to feel better. It's tough not being able to guzzle some DayQuil.
Advice I Chose to Ignore: Hm, well, I didn't get professional photos taken during my pregnancy, but my hubby took some pretty great silhouette shots (my fave is above). I'm also attempting to get some free newborn photography, so we'll see how that shakes out! Especially with the extra snow days adding unpaid days onto my maternity leave, we have to cut corners somewhere!

So that's about it for now...probably my next post will involve some sort of adorable baby picture!!