Intention

In yoga, it's helpful to set an intention for your practice before you begin. My intention for the entirety of 2011, every class I've taken, has been just one word: release.

A new year is coming and with it, I'm bringing a new intention: be present.

This year, I want to work on being present in the moment, every moment, wherever life takes me.

Namaste.

It's the Small Things

I've had the week from hell.

Yeah, it's only Wednesday. I know. I'm actually not writing this entry about the week's misfortunes; they are largely not mine to tell anyway.

Instead, let me count my blessings.

Here's one: 

My darling puppy, Loki. He drives me insane with his puppy biting and quirks, but all is forgiven when he crawls onto my lap with a chew toy and takes his teething ailments out on a poor, defenseless little squeaky toy. He's also amazingly good on leash, and I've come to look forward to our daily walks. Especially on days such as today. It's such a shame about the rain today. I'll make up for it tomorrow.

Here's another:

My chef. Monday was the worst day. When I got home, he insisted I take a hot bath. He took care of the little monster-puppy for me, poured me some wine, and rubbed my sore back. When I fall asleep on the couch (which happens more than I care to admit lately), he carries me to bed. When I get frustrated and snap at him, he waits until I am calm to ask me what's wrong...then he helps me fix it. He spends entire days dreaming up special meals to cook for me or my family. He loves my friends. He makes me coffee every morning. He's a good man. I'm very lucky.

Side note: I bought a new makeup brush and am completely impressed at how well it works, and was laughing a bit at how long it took me to decide to spend the cash. I mentioned it to Chris, how happy such a silly thing made me...and he reminded me that it's the little things...

And just for fun...my beautiful family!

Have I mentioned how lucky I am?

 

Tonight

It's quiet in the apartment...for now. Loki is sleeping at my feet, I finished a lunch date with a good friend and a Skype conversation with another. My chef is still at work and I have no plans for the evening. Ahhhhh....quiet. And peace.

I love when Loki runs in his sleep. He also often ends up sticking his little tongue out while he's sleep-running. It's peaceful to watch and adorable to see. I never thought I would love a puppy so much! He's added so much cuteness and fun to my life here. He's made me more active and excited about little things. I'm proud when I see him learn a new trick and love to see him get excited about a toy.

I'm excited to decorate for Christmas tomorrow and see how he reacts to the tree!

'Tis the Season

I had a strategy in my former life that I employed a lot...I was thinking about it this morning. Often, when I knew I would be met with resistance with something that would hurt my feelings, I'd anticipate this resistance and battle it head-on. Instead of having a fight over what I wanted versus what he wanted, then losing and not getting any sort of real concessions, apology, or acknowledgement of my feelings...I'd claim responsibility for the whole thing upfront. It became "my idea."

For example, I lived with a modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge who didn't understand Christmas and the celebrations that go along with it. I fought it a few years; I tried a lot of different tactics to teach and explain why I enjoyed Christmas and why I wanted the festivities to be a part of my life. I even broke down and cried in a restaurant while we were out for dinner because he just didn't seem to care--or want to care--about something that was so important to me. The next year, we bought a house. I decided that I was tired of fighting over Christmas; not only did I still not get a festive holiday season, but I also was sullen and angry as a result. I approached him that year with the idea that we cut back on Christmas, due to money. No presents to each other, no new decorations, nothing special...and he was happy. He got what he wanted and it was MY IDEA so I wouldn't be picking fights with him all December long. And while we didn't overtly fight, I was resentful. I hadn't been listened to. We hadn't compromised. He won, again. Only this time, I was responsible. Worse, it set a precedence for seasons to come.

This season is fresh and new again; I can celebrate as I wish with friends and family close and a partner who is as enthusiastic as me--or maybe even more! This is good news, but I haven't gotten into the spirit yet...too many anniversaries of major life-shifting milestones that occurred just one year ago. As great as my new life is, I haven't forgotten. I don't want to; I am who and where I am today because of my past choices. But I need to kick my celebrations into high gear... I have a lot of years to make up for!!